| print this
"Fear of Fear"
F. (Ceil M.?), New York City.
330 in the 2nd edition, p. 321 in the 3rd edition, and
p. 289 in the 4th edition.)
Stopped in Time
lady was cautious. She decided she wouldn't
let herself go in her drinking. And she
would never, never take that morning drink!"
of sobriety was, according to one source,
July 1949. Her husband George joined shortly
before she did.
she was not an alcoholic, that her problem
was that she had been married to a drunk.
But she finally admitted, to a woman she met
when she accompanied George to the Greenwich
Village Group, that she, too, had a problem.
She was one
who never went to a hospital, never lost a
job, and had never been to jail. And she didn't
drink in the morning. Nonetheless, she was
a severe alcoholic. She believes that she
should have lost her husband, but the fact
that he was an alcoholic too kept them together.
an update of her story for the September 1968
A.A. Grapevine. In it she tells how dramatically
their lives had changed.
came to A.A. they were spiritually, mentally,
and physically beaten people. Their children
were ashamed of them, their families did not
want any part of them.
that now their families trusted them again,
and physically they were in better shape than
they were when they came in. Their friends
were all in the Fellowship.
found it tough going financially for a while,
so the women in A.A. suggested she get a job.
She went to
work for a New York advertising agency as
a receptionist, but soon gained the confidence
to look for a better job with more responsibility
and a better salary. In 1968 she had been
at her current job for eight years, getting
advancements each year.
But she complained
about the office politics and how the other
women snickered when she told them she did
not tell lies. Office politics were strange
for her. She said she had always been honest,
even when drinking, but "this office hanky-panky
was new." She loved her work, but admitted
that nineteen years earlier she would not
have had the serenity to take the office politics.
got started again in his profession.
years, they were both still very active in
A.A. and doing a lot of Twelfth Step work.
She expressed enormous gratitude to the Fellowship
for all it had given them. She said they were
not reformed drunks, but informed alcoholics.
Like so many
of us sober a long time, friends asked Ceil
and George why they continued to go to meetings,
do Twelfth Step work, and speak at other groups.
'Isn't eighteen years enough time to prove
you have the alcoholic problem licked?' My
answer is always the same: that I love my
A.A. It is the one Fellowship that has given
us our lives, freedom, and happiness. We are
not reformed drunks - but informed alcoholics."
And she concludes:
"I know to whom I owe my gratitude: my fellow
members of A.A. I hope I shall never forget
to be grateful."
She has been
identified by one source as Ceil M., but her
update was signed C.F. Perhaps that was a
typo in the A.A. Grapevine, or perhaps she
had begun using her maiden name for professional
reason, or perhaps she remarried after being
divorced or widowed.